Remission My Butt, Literally

So I went out for dinner in my neighborhood last night. I played it safe and got the broiled snapper with rice pilaf. There was a very light lemon sauce on the fish which was delicious. I was really happy with my choice but my stomach wasn't.

I just didn't imagine remission would be like this. I thought remission would be like heaven or something.

Broken Record

Same old story: I'm battling it out with my insurance company again.

It turns out I haven't been getting any money from them because there's a glitch in the system. After I submit my claims for prescription reimbursement they get halfway through the process and the name of the prescription is removed from the claim so they reject it. I had to resubmit every claim since FEBRUARY.

I then found out that the reimbursement check for a trip to see a doctor in March was sent to the doctor. I paid in full, $570 dollars, before I left the office and the insurance company sent more money to the doctor. At this point they owe me about $4000 dollars. Do you know how many paychecks that is?

I am beyond frustrated. I do not know the words to express how I feel about this situation and the fact that I am going to have to deal with this for the foreseeable future. I could scream.

Timing

Life is strange.

I lived most of my life up to this point, not really with reckless abandon, in a less than thoughtful way I guess. I'm not a huge risk taker and I always consider the future before making a decision but I didn't necessarily treat my body as my temple. I have never been one to get enough sleep. I used to love to go out with the girls and have (more than) a few drinks. I generally ate reasonably healthy food, but I haven't really gotten enough exercise since high school.

When Crohn's hit I had to make a big change. I could no longer physically proceed with my life on the amount of sleep I was used to. Naps became a regular occurrence. I had to begin analyzing everything I put into my body. No more drinking or staying out late.

Now that I have a disease and have battled through a two-year flare my perspective is completely different. I appreciate my life and my health so much more than I ever could have before Crohn's. I am so thankful that I can clean my entire apartment in one day or do laundry in the morning and have enough energy to leave the house again in the afternoon. Don't get me wrong, I would absolutely send this disease back where it came from (the innermost reaches of the sewer system?) if I could - but I can't so I am learning from it.

We're going through some things here that I don't know if I could have handled a few months ago. The timing of my recovery from the latest and longest flare could not have come at a better time. I am in such a better place both physically and mentally than I was even a month ago.

These new developments have me appreciating the uncertainty of life. I know it's cliche but we really have no idea what could happen tomorrow. Life is short. There is no time to waste. Now is the time to get rid of the people who keep you from being your best. Those who make their support and love known deserve your support and love in return. Give it to them freely. Let them know you love them with your actions. Give hugs and kisses. Make yourself happy.

Three Things I Can Never Be

1. A Competitive Eater

2. A Vegetarian

3. A Nurse (bless you all)

Ouch

Last night I felt a little rawness in my throat. I wasn't too worried about it as I've been feeling dehydrated lately and assumed my throat was dry like my hands are when I'm dehydrated. I drank another glass of water then went to bed.

When I woke up this morning it felt like someone was shining a spotlight in my face while choking me and stabbing me in the right side of my head. I think there was a siren and a whistle too.

I stumbled to the bathroom, found some Tylenol Cold and the thermometer and fell back into bed. I didn't have a fever but I wasn't going anywhere. I called in sick, took the medicine and slept for another five hours.

My right eye still feels like it's going to explode but otherwise either the sleep and/or medicine is working. I really hope this is just allergies or something. My next Humira injection is Monday and I'd really like to take it.

I'm going to finish this glass of water then back to bed.

Eggs - An Update

After my egg on Sunday I did have some stomach upset. It took several hours but it was definitely not normal. I think I have an egg problem.

What's the next step?

Eggs?

On weekends we like to sleep late and have a good breakfast. I always had more stomach issues on the weekends but I assumed for a long time that it was because of the volume of my breakfast as my weekday breakfast is much lighter.

I generally would have some egg whites and turkey bacon which, to a normal person, might seem like a light breakfast. For a Crohnie, it's playing with fire. Generally, I paid for these breakfasts as the stomach upset would start immediately after breakfast and continue throughout the day. Now that I'm feeling much better, I'm beginning to wonder if it's the eggs.

I'm still eating light most of the time and I'm not completely symptom free but the symptoms I'm having are far fewer and farther between than they have been for the past two years.

I was just thinking back to last weekend. I took a road trip to attend a wedding. Spending a weekend a few hours away from home and my comfortable food would have been incredibly anxiety inducing a few months ago. Now? Not as much. I was still a bit nervous and my stomach was uncomfortably distended for most of the trip but I didn't have to run to the bathroom at all - except once, soon after breakfast including egg whites!

I've decided to test my theory this morning. I don't have anywhere to go so... I finished an egg on a slice of gluten free toast with some cheddar at 10:00. I'll keep you updated.