Day 110 - An Announcement

Dear Crohnies, take heart.  For I have a story to tell.  I know not how it ends, but the middle is getting good!

I've been numbering my posts this year because I decided this year would be different.  I decided this would be the year I changed my direction and change my life.  I wanted to see how long it would take.

For the past eight years I've been working for the same company, in the same position for the past five or six years.  I can't say I've always hated my job but I can say I have never loved it.  It's not a horrible place to work;  my coworkers are great, I've learned so many things about so many things, I've saved some money, I have health insurance, they let a lot slide through my Crohniest of years...  But there are also some cons; women are not exactly treated as equals in the office, the health insurance hasn't always been the best, I don't get a lunch break, my boss can be incredibly demanding, I almost never leave the office on time, I have taken on so much that I barely have time to get a drink of water most days, my stress level is frequently off the charts...  I'm not going anywhere in my company, it's too convenient for my boss to keep me where I am.  I've gotten several raises and a few meaningless "promotions" that came with title changes but no real job promotion.  I am comfortable, stable but not happy with where I am.   

I've also been taking photos for most of the eight years I've been working there.  I became enamored with photography the minute I learned how to use a camera.  Puppy love became obsession which turned into an old, comfortable love then eventually just became a part of who I am.  There are millions of people out there who are content with photography as a hobby, but not I.  I decided I wanted photography to become my livelihood.  You know the old saying about do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life (or whatever).  I want to be that person.

I spent several years trying to figure out how I was going to do it, all the while taking photos.  I've taken photos of parties, babies, families, children, burlesque performers, famous actors, not-so-famous actors, friends, family members and total strangers.  I've spent months learning Photoshop and figuring out how to set up a website.  I've printed business cards, changed my website and printed new business cards, changed my name and printed yet more business cards.  I've applied for assistant jobs and entered contests.  I've gone to classes and lectures.  I've watched countless tutorials online and viewed millions of photos.  Now, I think I'm ready.

In the beginning of the year; amidst figuring out how my parents will go on after my father's stroke, traveling with my husband's hugely successful film, and busting my Crohn's addled butt at my aforementioned job; I put together a portfolio and an artist's statement and applied to a graduate photography program that seemed designed just for me.  The school is well-known, well-respected and smack in the middle of New York City.  The program accepts only a few people each year. Crohnies, I GOT IN!  I still cannot believe it.

In August, I will leave the office I've been practically living in for the past eight years to follow my dreams.  I have never been so excited about anything in my entire life.  I know it will be difficult and stressful.  Of course, I am worried that I will have problems switching to a new health insurance provider with my pre-existing condition.  I'm afraid that the stress will cause sleepless nights and flares, but far stronger than the fear is my excitement and hope for the future.  Who knows, maybe I'll fall flat on my face, but I'm a strong believer in hard work.  I think anyone can reach their goals if they are willing to do the work. 

Crohnies, I am living proof.  Take care of yourselves, be patient, keep a positive attitude, work hard and good things will happen.  We can have Crohn's Disease AND follow our dreams.

Day 106

Oh Paralyzing Nausea, I'd all but forgotten you!

Things have gotten really stressful at work. It's making me sick. I wish I didn't care so much. Why do I CARE? WHO CARES? Anyway, I felt more nauseous today than I have since my Crohn's went into remission. I just looked that post up and - holy crap - that was well over two years ago.

So I've been really spoiled with good health for a long time and I hate to complain but I will anyway. I was feeling incredibly nauseous and walked into a hot, smelly theater to watch shaky footage taken from a car accompanied by horribly loud, scrambled audio that wasn't synced properly. I almost died of nausea. I am sure that's possible now.

Okay, whining over. Tomorrow will be better.