2011

I was going to put writing off until the new year but just decided there is no reason to wait.

This year was complete insanity. We shot a film, my family grew by two (one husband (mine), one baby (not mine)), we battled cancer, we threw a huge wedding, I changed my name, we won awards, we planned for the future, we battled Crohn's.

All of these things were life-changing. No one thing completely changed me but each one altered my outlook on life. I feel the change. I feel like I am a very different person than I was on December 10, 2010. This year I feel more confident, I feel stronger, I feel hopeful, less restless. I know things now that I didn't know then.

I didn't think marriage would change a five-year, live-in relationship. I didn't think it would, but it has. I know my best friend will be right next to me, supporting me, for the rest of my life. I know my success is his success and my failures his failures (and vice versa). As much as I thought it wouldn't change, it has. Marriage is far more profound to me now that I have taken part. It does feel different. The change has come. We are married.

This year, I witnessed a new life come into this world. I was there through twelve hours of labor and literally held my sister as she gave birth. There was a lump in my sister's stomach and then, suddenly, another person in the room. A new life that we are all responsible for. We must do what we can to make sure she has what she needs to live a good life. My sister will take care of the baby's basic needs but the rest of us will surround her with love and teach her the things my sister can't teach her. We are in charge of spoiling her and letting her know we're on her side but her mom is right. I never realized I had the capacity to have so much love for someone I never met, but everything changed the second that baby was born. I have changed. I look forward to having my own someday soon.

I'm looking forward to another year of ups and downs (hopefully more ups than downs), another year of adventures with my best friend, another year of laughing until it hurts with my family.

Dear Crohnies, I know some years are harder than others. I know how difficult it is to get through the daily rigors of life when you are so sick for long periods of time. My wish for everyone for 2012 is for you to find what you love to do and do it. Whether it's a hobby or career or whatever, do it. We're all going to die.

The biggest lesson that was reconfirmed to me this year is that, no matter what happens, life is what you make it.